Beating the King with Traffic Cones


Beating the King with a Traffic Cone

No Shit, There we were. Pensic XXIV, Valens, Malachi and I had put on out finest to stroll about for babes (hey, we can dream, can't we?!?) Well Valens and Malachi started to walk 5 paces behind me and shouting things like "Make Way! Make Way! For the great and powerful Pavel!" and so on and so forth. I asked them to stop, no good. I stopped and yelled at them and they dropped to knees and sung my hosannas while bowing and scrapping.

This went on all the way from the camp to the kids play area. It had gotten so bad that strangers were doing big reverent bows. I stopped to yell and throw rocks at them, (did I mention that Valens was King at the time and was in his regalia?) Valens as Kingwith the same results. So I picked up a traffic cone and started to beat them with it. They responded with phrases like, " Oh yes! Great Pavel. Any attention from you is welcome." and so forth.

About this time a Duke, several knights and their ladies approached. The Duke got my attention (the whole time we talked I was quietly beating the guys with the cone.) and asked me. "Are you beating a king with a traffic cone?" I looked to check not wanting to give the wrong answer and told him "yes". "Is that your king?" I looked again to make sure they had not swapped one on me while I was looking away. "yes". "Calontir?" I stood tall and proudly said "Yes". (all the while swatting Valens and Malachi with the cone.) The Duke looked and his followers and said "thought so" and walked off...

Back to Pavel's Stories Page