Hurry Oh big boat sailing the ocean;
Stuff like beersuds on the waves of the sea.
'Cause Hengest our leader has called us from Europe
To Vortigern's England to join his army.
We will get paid there in better than money,
Better than getting Express Cards of Gold;
For Hengest will give us all real estate titles,
Real estate for all us Saxons to hold.
Run, Army GI's, down to the river;
Viking-boats dock when the water is high.
Your weapons, all high-tech (for 9th century Vikings)
Are needed again by the cold river-side.
Fight all together, o you drinking-buddies;
Later when the TV-movie is sold,
They'll show that we died for our nearest and dearest,
Those real estate titles we Saxons still hold.
Move, elite crack troops, north to the border;
Harald the Viking has crossed the North Sea.
His ships hold fierce troopers, all wild dudes from Norway
He wants England's crown, top CEO to be.
He will be bummed when we poke them with our spears;
Really pissed off___, but still he'll be told
That he's getting nothing but plugged in a graveyard
Near real estate tracts that we Saxons do hold.
Hurry, King Harald, to Stanford river;
You beat the Vikings, your men have worked hard.
But William the Conqueror (whose mom wasn't married)
Is trashing the land___ whose value you guard.
Line up your troops for the Battle of Hastings,
Fight until sunset when the air gets cold.
Then you will get slaughtered by the Norman army
And they'll get that real estate Saxons did hold.
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