A Kingdom Individual

Words: Johann Steinarsson
Music: Arthur Sullivan, "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General", The Pirates of Penzance

I am the very model of a Kingdom individual,
My garb is quite authentic and my name is quite original,
I'm rather good at telling jokes and singing songs atypical,
Which can be quite amusing and are never metaphysical!

I practice every weekend with a sword made of rattan and tape,
My armor made of PVC, a shield of a goodly shape,
My first day in a battle, oh the Huscarls gave me quite a fright...
But I just shrugged it off because I hope someday to be a knight!

But he just shrugged it off because he hopes someday to be a knight,
But he just shrugged it off because he hopes someday to be a knight,
But he just shrugged it off because he hopes someday that he will be a knight!

I study all the weapons with a zeal most ridiculous,
Of claymore and of bastard sword, my knowledge is meticulous,
My research is inscrutable, my attitude is whimsical,
I am the very model of a Kingdom individual!

His research is inscrutable, his attitude is whimsical,
He is the very model of a Kingdom individual!

I know the style of clothing for a Viking, Celt or Byzantine,
And know within an inkling how much jewelry is too obscene,
I spend a fortune making sure my wardrobe will be up to snuff,
And never let a day go by without a nicely starched-up ruff.

When setting my encampment it is truly quite a sight to see,
A center-pole pavillion in a quiet spot beneath the trees,
My pride in authenticity requires I spare no expense...
Although my bank would much prefer that I invest in Coleman tents!

Although his bank would much prefer that he invest in Coleman tents,
Although his bank would much prefer that he invest in Coleman tents,
Although his bank would much prefer that he invest in simple Coleman tents!

I do confess my choice of gear is costly and quite cumbersome,
And though my preference for being accurate is mocked by some,
My research is inscrutable, my attitude is whimsical,
I am the very model of a Kingdom individual!

His research is inscrutable, his attitude is whimsical,
He is the very model of a Kingdom individual!

I feel an obligation to expand upon my intellect,
And so attend an Arts and Science class or two at each event,
I've studied how to make a knife, an earthen jar, a bead of glass,
Although I must confess my own attempts are always second-class...

When given thread and needle I can dabble in embroidery,
Or maybe try some leatherwork or even haberdashery,
But best of all, I must confess, my fav'rite skill artistically...
Illuminating manuscripts depicting Norse divinity!

Illuminating manuscripts depicting Norse divinity!
Illuminating manuscripts depicting Norse divinity!
Illuminating manuscripts depicting Norse divinininity!

So much to do, so much to see, I fear I'll never find the time
To do a bit of everything with reason or with much of rhyme,
But even when I'm quizzical, my attitude is whimsical,
I am the very model of a Kingdom individual!

He may be fairly quizzical, his attitude is whimsical,
He is the very model of a Kingdom individual!

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